Thursday, May 20, 2010

Bitch White.

I ate lunch with my friend Suzanne today. She was applying ketchup to her lips, as if it were lipstick, and was using a fry to do so. We made a pact, to stay as bitch white as we could, until we're in our 80's. Well, my 80's her 90's. Cause she's older. She has a kid. Her kid is my friend. We slide together sometimes.

What's "Bitch White" you ask? It's being absolutely fan-fucking-tastic everyday of your life, and doing so with a very, very, very, pale complexion. What do "Bitch White" people do? It's simple, we eat burgers and spit water out of our mouths. We're also known to discuss our "horny hours" throughout the day. As well as strategize our "prime sex points" and our "sexual game plans". The latter, often leads to violence. Sometimes, we sing jaunty tunes about walking back to work from resturants. We pretty much do whatever the fuck we want. Ya'll don't know us. Dwell on this.

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